The Second One

Recently, I began rereading a classic, Studs Terkel's Working. One of his subjects says in passing, "My second one's a problem with homework." Not has a problem. Is a problem. That would be me. The second of three girls. My older sister, ambitious and Type A, never gave my parents any concern. Straight As, orchestra, marching band, plenty of friends and boyfriends, math club, German club, honor society, National Merit semifinalist. Waitlisted at Harvard, accepted at Johns Hopkins, Brown, Princeton, and Davidson. Degree in mathematics from the University of North Carolina. She busted her neck for right years to pass actuarial exams and is now a bank vice president. Fun act to follow, although she is gracious enough to tell me that she was a basket case in high school. My younger sister was everything I was not, cute and popular with a circle of friends and a string of boyfriends and a clear coloratura soprano. Between the two, I was hard-pressed to find my own niche. I thought I had found it in theater, but my younger sister yook it up and soon eclipsed me. I had few friends, but sometimes my friends became her friends. In school, I usually understood things the first time. If I did not, I had no interest in learning it. My parents had multiple teacher conferences. School was rocky, adolescence was a nightmare. In later tears, my sisters would say that the family dramas usually starred me. They usually did. One evening, at the climax of a homework battle, my father said, "What do you suggest we do?" God knows where I got the idea. I said, "Leave me alone and trust me." I was twelve or thirteen at the time. Maybe I was tired of it. Maybe I was sliwly maturing. But they did, and I started to improve. Slowly. I had a C average in high school, a B/C average in college. Sux or seven years later, when I was taking paralegal courses, I made the Dean's list. When I graduated at 41 with a Master of Divinity degree, it was with a 3.8 average. I have always been a loner and a little quirky. But although it has taken more than fifty years, I have found my groive as the second one.